Extra-Curriculum Actitivities for Children

There must be activities or hobbies that we wanted to do when we were younger, but we could not do those activities because of our parents' financial constraints or simply the course place was non-existent or nowhere near home.

Our childhood dreams might become a dream that we want to 'channel' through our children. It is certainly not a bad thing to want something for our children, which we could not have ourselves as a child. However, would our dreams also be the dreams that our children dream about too? Or, would we be pushing them into doing something that is less than their 'favourite dream'.

Every parent must have an idea or two about the ideal activities for their children. 'Ideal', after putting financial budget, time, distance and, most importantly, the child's talent/interest into consideration. What if the 'ideal' activities in the parents' minds do not match the 'ideal' activities in the child's mind?

Parents must always remember, it is the CHILD's life we are building, not ours! Financial budget, time, distance, we can compromise. Child's talent and interest.. NO! Every child was born with their unique talents and interests, which can grow multiple times if nurtured properly.

If you are still not sure about which activities to introduce to your children, this post might give you an idea of how to choose the 'ideal' activities for your children.

My 9-year-old son, Ariq, always tapped in rhythm, with anything he was holding, a pair of pencils, chopsticks, or even his fingers. Even when he was just 3 years old, he already made simple but nice sequence with his tapping. He loved watching a drummer playing. He always asked us to stop whenever he saw a band was playing, at the mall, wedding receptions, and other places. When I asked him if he wanted to do a drum lesson, he agreed straight away, and he wouldn't stop asking me, when his drum lesson would start.

It was a struggle for me finding a suitable drum lesson for Ariq. First, because he was very young and most music courses that I knew only took students starting from 5 or 6 six years old. Until one day, when Ariq was 4.5 years old, I heard about a music course that accepted children starting from 4 years old. I went to the course place, and, YES! They said they actually accepted students as young as 3.5 years old, as long as the children is interested in learning and ready to do course sessions. They did one trial with Ariq and decided they could accept him. Ariq was so happy.

Ariq was very happy and excited, what about me? It was a totally different story..

I had a less than happy experience with my music lesson as a child. I started off loving the feeling of sitting on a piano bench, but then, it all changed.. At that time, the mostly favoured piano lesson was the Classic Piano. Most piano courses offered it and children who could play classic piano arrangements were highly respected.

The course I was enrolled in was quite strict. I wasn't allowed to touch the piano before I could read music partitures well. I had to do a lot of writing exercise, while watching other (older) students playing on the piano. I was only about 5 or 6 years old at that time. I was still learning to read and write alphabets at school, now I had to learn reading musical 'alphabets' too..

For a few years, it did not bother me, except the fact that my teacher kept reminding me that my progress was very slow and I was never on track for any scheduled exams!

When I was around 10 or 11 years old, some of my friends at school took the Pop Piano lesson, and they learned to play popular songs. At the same time, whenever there were family gatherings and people asked me to play the songs they loved, I always answered that I couldn't play the songs because I was learning Classic Piano, not Pop Piano.. That was when it started to bother me.. I had been doing the course for a few years, but people see me (and I started to see myself) as not being able to do anything yet! I didn't have any exam certifications, I never had any performance with my piano course.. and I certainly couldn't play any songs that I (and other people) liked!

I decided to ask my parents if I could change my piano course, but it turned out that the piano lesson that offered Pop Piano was quite far from my home.

My mum had pop songs piano book, but learning to play the songs by myself, on top of practicing the required songs from my course, turned out to be more challenging than fun.. I ended up torn inside and stopped liking playing the piano..

When I was 12, school exam was coming up. My mum asked me if I wanted to stop my piano lesson so that I could focus on my exam. I agreed right away. It felt like a great relief.. After exam, my mum tried to find a teacher for a private piano lesson for me, but, I had lost interest, since all the teachers were all more 'Classic' than 'Pop' ..

In Senior High School, a few of my friends who have been learning Pop Piano, kindly taught me the basic chords and some songs that I liked. I started to like piano again. I could also teach my friends how to read musical partitures, as learning Pop Piano, they read the chords more often in alphabet and numbers, not partitures. I felt quite happy about that.. Still, I never actually took a 'real' Pop Piano lesson until now, worried that it would burden me if I can't progress as fast as I expect to..

Anyway, back to Ariq and his drum lesson..

I obviously looked worried every time I took Ariq to his lesson, that the admin staff kept trying to reassure me that he was doing fine.

Ariq was always curious about the practice rooms for other instruments. He wanted to try the piano, guitar, violin, etc. I was worried that he might drop or break something by accident. The staff kept saying to me, "Don't worry, Mum.. Students are encouraged to try the musical instruments here.." .. Then, his drum teacher showed him how to play the other musical instruments, which made Ariq a very happy boy!

When we moved home, Ariq had to move his drum lesson to. I had to ask him to have a rest for about a year, trying to settle in with school and everything else. Once he felt settled enough, he started asking me to start his drum lesson again. So, I searched for a suitable one for him and found one near home.

After a few months practicing, Ariq's teacher told me that Ariq is progressing well, but considering he was still very young (he was only 7 years old) and has a very strong hearing (Ariq has 'audio-learning style' as a toddler), the teacher asked for my permission to teach Ariq the combinations and improvisations first, before moving on to the books. I remember how reading partitures were such a burden to me, and I agreed to Ariq's teacher's suggestion right away.

Ariq had no problem learning different types of beat combinations in short times. After one year of practicing, he was allowed to performed in his music school concert! WOW! Ariq was so happy.. and I was almost in tears, watching him perform..

I always think that a drummer is the best member of a band, that's why I love the fact that I have a son who plays the drum. Then, the challenge for me suddenly started when Ariq chose to play Metal and Punk songs..

I used to imagine Ariq playing nice rock, pop or jazz songs at home and lull everyone into calmness. However, Ariq had a completely different idea about the drum.. He started playing 'One' (Metallica), Chop Suey (System of A Down) and Toxic City (System of A Down)..  At first, I tried to persuade him to change his choices (and Ariq's drum teacher agreed with me to a certain level), but then, I realised, that these Metal and Punk songs really improved Ariq's drum playing skills. Playing this type of songs, he can switch his playing speed and rhythm without much difficulty.

I remember how I wanted to change from Classic Piano to Pop Music, and not being able to, had cost me my interest towards the piano. I don't want the same thing to happen to Ariq. I believe that as he grows, Ariq will go through different phases in his life again, and he will want to try different things again. Let time shape him so that he could be a great drummer in the future..

As Ariq's mum, all I can do is to support him in every way I can. As Ariq is more confident in practicing without much supervision anymore at home, I can choose to listen to him practicing from my room with my door closed (Ariq has a headset to cover his ear with), and give him my comments and advice after he finished practicing. I only sit next to the drum when he asks me to (when he wants to show me his new rhythm or wants me to record a video for his father to review later).

A few things that I learn from Ariq and his love for his drum playing are:
1. We can see children talents from their early ages, and we should look for activities that support their talents.
2. We should not give up in supporting our children activities, even when supporting them means that we have to face our fear and challenges.
3. We should keep good communication with the instructors and other staff in our children course place, to make sure that the course is delivered in the best interest of our children.

Have a nice day, Everyone :-)

by: Indri Hutapea

Indonesia Visit Museum Year 2010

Yes, that's right. This year is Indonesia Visit Museum Year.

It just happened that our sons, Ariq and Aza love going to the museums. There are a lot of museums in Indonesia, you can always start your museum journal with the ones located in your city.

We visited four museums last week and here is the journal of our visit to the first two; The National Museum and The Museum of Jakarta History.

If you are worried that your children will be bored during the visit, you can rest assured that they will not! Children WILL have fun with everything they experience. It always amazes me how my sons are having great times at the museums, as if they were having a field day at Timezone.. ;-)

Here is the link to our journal..  Museum Visit.. :-)

Just tell me, Mum!

This story was the first time I realized that children were not to be underestimated.. They are as human as we are -adults-, and we learn from them as much as they learn from us. So, we should start listening to them..

I never try to pretend otherwise.. I'm just a regular woman, with all my emotional ways in handling things.. I tend to talk 'too much' when I find my children do something 'unacceptable' -trying to make sure they know that whatever they were doing was not good, and they shouldn't do it again-.

Repeating warnings and advices are never good, especially for children. I heard it often enough, said by experts of children education. However, trying to stop talking when I'm already 'ignited' is not easy.. It was like being torn into two.. Have the children understood of what is expected of them? Alternatively, are they just plain bored listening to me?
I just wanted to make sure that my children would NEVER do the same mistake again.. but I was proven wrong when one day, my 5-year-old talked back in a casual tone, during my steamy 'explaining' of his mistake..

"Mum, whenever you are talking fast and a lot, like this, I don't understand what you are saying. Can you just tell me what it is you want me to do, and I'll do it?"

All in a sudden I lost my words. I closed my mouth and looked at him. He repeated his words, "I mean it, Mum. I don't understand. All I hear is noisy sound coming from you. Just tell me what I have to do."

So many times I heard the advice to talk short and clear sentences to children. So many times I heard the advice to 'direct' children towards what they CAN do, rather than 'forbid' them to do what they CANNOT do. It was not easy to do.. until that time.. when I heard it from my son, in his 'language'..
I never thought that I would hear it coming from a little child.. my own son.. and he was only 5 years old at that time! I didn't have to guess, it must have taken all his courage to say it to me.. Suddenly, I felt something different in me.. a feeling of RESPECT to my son, for saying this difficult thing to me, which opened my mind..

So, I made up my mind to try new ways of communicating with my children..

Was I successful? Well, it didn't happen overnight, but I managed to 'cut myself out' whenever I saw a hint of boredom in my sons' faces during my 'speech.'

Lately, I still remind my sons, to stop whatever mischief they are doing, as soon as I tell them to stop. They can ask me why they can't do it after they have stopped doing it. If they don't stop right away, I might get angry and when it happens, it's hard for me to stop talking.. and they will be tired of listening..

Children will always be children.. and.. I will always be me.. but now, we are in a better understanding. I have learned to talk in shorter sentences to my children -most of the time-, and when I forget, they have learned that they are allowed to say to me, "You're making buzzing sound, Mum! Just tell me what I need to do!"

A quick observation..

In this post, I would like to put forward some thoughts to continue my previous post about specialisation in high school education.

At the end of 1st year senior high school, I was selected to be in a student exchange program. Ten students from my senior high school were sent to a private school in Australia to study there for one month. Upon our return, selected students from the Australian high school would come to our school also for one month.

During the exchange program, I learned about the different things about the 'school-life' of Australian and Indonesian students.

The most obvious difference was of course the moving-class system.. which we found tiring.. :-P

There was also a time when the student who was paired with me was not well for a couple of days, and for those days, I successfully got lost in-between classes..

The positive thing was, we realised that having a moving-class system, students can have more freedom and independence in deciding the subjects they want to specialise on.

At that time, we only thought that it was the main advantage of the moving-class system, but as I started university, I understood the bigger picture..

I had to face reality when I graduated from high school of not being able to enter national university. The differing opinions between my parents' and my own about which university I should choose led me to an 'unusual' path taken by a child in my extended family.

The national universities my parents asked me to take entrance exam to rarely accepted students from social-science stream into their Accounting faculty. As expected, I didn't pass the Math exam for one reason only.. I did not do 'Science Math' in high school.. which of course I didn't, since I chose social-science stream and I did 'Economic Math' instead (as prescribed by the curriculum)!

At the same time, I couldn't accept the offer from another national university, which accepted students from social-science stream into its Accounting faculty, because my parents considered the university was too far from Jakarta (with my final grades, I was entitled for school's endorsement for a place in a national university out of Jakarta -about 12 hours travel time- without entrance exam).

Having denied the chance to enter three national universities (with two being the closest ones to home), I had to consider private universities, which I managed to enter without difficulties.

However, the better option was still waiting for me..

When I was asked by my high school to deliver a talk about experience in studying in university, a few representatives from an Australian college were also there at my high school. They were introducing a new program for overseas students who wanted to study in Australian universities.

My English teacher quickly introduced us, and after a quick interview, the representatives decided that I was fit as a candidate and they would like to meet my parents to follow up the enrollment process.

Despite the distance between Indonesia and Australia, when I told my parents that I was accepted as a student in an Australian university, they quickly agreed! I was really glad about that.. :-)

Anyway.. this led to another observation about a different education system, compared to the one I was used to in my own country.

Once I started studying in Australia as a university student, I saw something interesting.. very interesting..

Some students were not only doing one degree at one time, but two.. Some of them were doing 'Commerce/Law', 'Law/Medicine', 'Agriculture Science/Economics', 'Accounting/Computing'.. etc. ..

Combinations that could not happen, with the way high school curriculum was structured in Indonesia at that time..

When I asked local students, how did they structure their high school subjects to be able to do that? They answered me that they discussed their interests and strength with their academic counselor to decide which subjects to take in high school, to enable them to pursue more than one major in university, so that they would have comparative advantage once they graduated from university.

WOW!

So, it was not only about moving-class system, but also an education system where students are treated individually, depending on their strengths and interests, so that they could achieve their highest potential in the future.

In Australian high schools, when students want to major in science, they can still take an elective subjects from social science area, such as, Economics, History, Anthropology, etc. Therefore, their observation and people skills are developing throughout high school years along with their scientific analysis skills.

Similar situation with the students who want to major in social-science, they can still take an elective from science area, such as, Science Math, Chemistry, Biology, Physics, etc. Therefore, their scientific analysis skills are also developing throughout high school years along with their observation and people skills.

This way, either side loses less than if the curriculum is strictly prescribed.. :-)

Moreover, students can have more options in their life later, long after they graduated from high school.

I am not saying that the Australian system in the perfect one, because each system would only best applied in respective country, after considering skills and knowledge in demand in each country. I am only saying that each country should really consider treating students as separate-entity from others, special in characteristics, interests and strengths. Because these students want different things in life.

These days, I have seen many positive developments in Indonesian education system. For one, specialisation is now only introduced in final year of high school. Therefore, students up to 2nd year (year 11) are doing the full set of high school subjects. I have to admit that on one hand, this might be a burden for some students, but on the other hand, it gives students wider options, as they would be studying both sides of streams for the whole 2nd year (in Indonesia, 2nd year of high school is where the study load is the heaviest , because half of 3rd year is focused for preparation for university).

The only consideration for both high school and university is to make their expectation gap narrower. High schools need to prepare their students to be up to the university's expectation, while universities need to make some adjustment programs available for high school students to catch up with subjects they did not have the chance to study in high school.

The example I learned from university system in Australia was that they have TAFE (Diploma programs) and Foundation program, where students can have one to two years preparation to enter university, if they lack a background subject. For example, a student whose major was in social science in high school, but he/she wants to study 'Computer Science'. The student can enter a TAFE or foundation program that offers science subjects, then, once he/she has the certificate of the program, the student can enter the university program he/she wants.

Indonesia also have diploma programs, but the structure is a little different from Australian TAFE. However, this is not the purpose of my post.. ;-)

Two, there have been many more technical school and colleges for students who are confident of what they want to pursue in life and want to focus from a young age. These schools and colleges are, in a way, a much better alternative to the 'science' and 'social-science' streams in high school.

The consideration for industries is to open as many options as possible for the technical schools and colleges graduates to pursue their career from the path they have chosen.

While the consideration for universities is that they should have a system where students from these technical schools and colleges can continue their education in university much later than high school graduates, if they choose to, considering that they already have the necessary background skills and experience needed for the degree pursued.

Three, students are now more proactive in searching for the skills and knowledge they need. It is evident by the existence of many out-of-school courses, such as, foreign languages, computer programs, arts, business and management, science clubs, etc., and the quantity of students enrolling in various programs offered by those course places.

In the future, if these course places can certify and guarantee the level of competency acquired by their students, then universities can also develop a system to take their certifications into consideration for students enrolling in their degree programs.

Learning is really a never-ending process in our life, including improving the education system itself..

I was just an average student in university, but throughout my study time in Australia, I saw so many Indonesian students excelled in their studies (in Indonesia and in Australia). It opened my eyes that with each step of improvement in Indonesian education system, the younger generations who are more critical in thinking and learning, will have far better chances in gaining a better future.. :-)

Go Indonesian Education!!

Specialisation of skills or limiting knowledge transfers..

People often say that education system every where in the world needs improvement.. lots of improvement.. Well, I can say that education system in Indonesia really needs lots of improvement.. It is currently going through a lot of changing as a process of trying to improve, and I hope each change will lead to a significant improvement.. :-)

One of the things I've noticed since I graduated from high school is the knowledge and skills gap between the students graduated from science stream and social-science stream in high school. This gap, in my personal opinion, is completely unnecessary and avoidable (at least to some degree).

This gap I'm talking about is probably felt by a lot of Indonesian high school graduates, but unknown to high school graduates in other countries.. This is because of the structure of senior high school curriculum in Indonesia.

In Indonesia, in 2nd year of senior high school -equivalent to year 11- (now from 3rd year of senior high school -equivalent to year 12-), students must choose whether they would like to take science stream or social-science stream. At a glance, this was a good thing, to help students focus on the areas they want to pursue in further education. However, their are downsides of this structure..

Both science stream and social-science stream are conducted as fixed-packages, where all subjects have been strictly prescribed by the Department of Education and there is no elective (either from the chosen stream or cross-stream).. Moreover, in national-standard schools, students stay in one particular classroom, where the teacher of the subjects will come to when the subjects take place. Therefore, it is impractical to have elective subjects.

This strict specialisation, at the end of the day, presents several problems.

The first problem, it forces students to have strict limitations in choosing the area they want to pursue in university.

In most cases, graduates of science stream are considered 'fit' to choose any area in university, including economics, accounting and finance, and social studies, having the strong mathematical-analytical skills.

At the same time, graduates of social-science stream are considered only 'fit' to choose areas related to humanities, social studies and languages.

Some universities do accept social-science stream graduates with good grades into their economics or accounting/finance faculties, but some others only accept science graduates, even though for a fact, economics and accounting are only taught in social-science stream (not in science stream).

The first problem leads to the second, where the structure misleads students in guiding them in choosing the right path in high school. A lot of students felt that it was safer for them to choose science stream if they are considering to do economics or accounting in university.

At the same time, students who decide to choose social-science stream (or are forced by the schools to take it) have to bear almost 'a life time' consequence, of being considered a '2nd class graduates' for not having the necessary scientific skills and knowledge. Of course in reality of life this mindset is questionable, but in academic world, this is causing a big problem!

The real situation is, which I see as the third problem, the gap between expectation and real competency level of university students and graduates.

Often, students are not satisfied with their own skills, ability and knowledge because of the lack of complete set of knowledge they need to have in pursuing their life.

On one hand, science stream graduates often feel that they are struggling in the 'management side' of working life. The struggle is hard in university for the ones end up choosing economics, accounting/finance or business/management at university level, and for the ones who choose the scientific areas in university, the struggle is felt once they enter working life.

On the other hand, social-science stream graduates often feel the frustration of not understanding the 'too-focused scientists/technical people' whom they have to work with in their every day life..

University is a learning place for people who have already gone past their crucial 'development' stage. Lecturers and tutors do not transfer mindset and psychological encouragement as much as school teachers because the learning stage of the students they teach are obviously different.

What we lack in learning at school level, CAN NEVER be replaced at university level or after!

It is a good thing that nowadays there are postgraduate business/management programs for employees from non-business background who are pursuing further career in management areas. However, the change of mindset is harder when we are already an adult and are used to a certain style of thinking structure for a long time, but at least there are ways to catch up with the lack of skills.

The final problem now is, for the social-science stream graduates, there are no postgraduate programs that offer science programs!

When I decided to choose social-science stream, not only I had to face opposition from the school and family -because I had the sufficient grades to enter science stream-, I also had to give up my favourite science subject, Chemistry.. and this meant for life..

Business degree graduates might excel in writing essays, conducting surveys, doing presentations and leading a discussion/meeting, but, whenever I read a research paper done by a science graduate, I can clearly see a difference!

Science stream graduates possess a highly structured thinking process that it is almost 'written on their faces'.. while social-science stream graduates are very open to 'open-ended' discussions..

There should be a balance in there somewhere to make sure that high school graduates are 'all round' people who are ready to take the challenge of the real world!

I believe that one subject.. just one subject.. from cross-stream can change this problem, -maybe not entirely, but at least to some extent-, to create a better life in Indonesia.

I try to imagine, if in science stream, students are given a chance to have a feel of the 'open-ended' mindset -conducting surveys, having open project discussion, calculating business budgets and marketing products- .. it might help them to understand the 'other side' of the their world.. Subjects like macro economics would definitely show science students how things in life often happen outside expectations and people need to be ready for those things..

Then, I try to imagine too, if social-science students are given a chance to take up one science subject by choice, -physiscs, biology or chemistry-.. it might help them (including me) in understanding the thinking process of scientists/technical people.. A careful, thorough and detailed observation is needed to complement the 'risk-taking' approach in business world..

I know that there are some students who are mature enough to understand their upcoming needs in future life and try to equip themselves with skills and knowledge they are not given by school, but in most cases, high school students -being children at final stage, if I may say-, still need assistance in preparing them to face their future and it is the adults' responsibility to provide them such skills and knowledge (by adults I mean, parents, teachers and Department of Education).

Providing a more balanced education is what education system in Indonesia needs to do -among other things-, and I would really love to see this come true in the future.. :-)

Have a nice day, everyone!

Girl films for boys??? Are you kidding???

Hmm.. I'm not!

This was a short conversation between Ariq and his classmates last year (when he was still in KG-B) during the home visit to our house..

"Everyone.. let's watch a film!" Ariq asked his friends to sit in front of the television.

"What is your favourite film?" One of his teacher asked.

"Do you have Ben10?" One of the boys asked.

"No, I don't." Ariq answered.

"What do you have?" One of the girls asked.

"Little Einsteins, My Little Ponies, Strawberry Shortcakes, Diego." Ariq answered again.

Then they decided to put 'Little Einsteins' on. The girls cheered, but of course half of the boys decided that the fish pond was more interesting.. ;-)

Of course this situation did not last forever.. about half a year after that, Ariq started to like Ben10, Transformers and other boys films..

About two weeks ago, he saw a trailer of 'Barbie and The Three Musketeers', and he asked me to buy the DVD for him, so I did.

It turned out that both Ariq and Aza like it.

I asked them why they like the movie, and they answered, "Four beautiful girls in pretty dresses, successfully taking down the bad guys!"

The impression that Aza had was even further, he was really touched with the scene when Corrine (Barbie) was hugging her mother before she left for Paris. During the scene, Aza suddenly hugged me.. :-)

I think back to the choices of girl films that I bought for Ariq, which he really liked.. 'Strawberry Shortcake: the episode when she went camping with her friends', 'Dora: the episode when she rescued the Prince', 'My Little Ponies: the episodes when the ponies helped the boy rescued the princess and the episode when they had to rescue some ponies from the evil circus'.. then I realised something, boys are boys no matter what, but as kids they need and want to see the whole picture of life..

Films like Ben10 and Transformers certainly interest boys with their 'power', 'heroic' and 'strength' sides of life, which are directly attached to all boys.. but, as human beings, boys need to see the other side of life too.. subconsciously, they want to see 'beauty', 'love' and 'colours' as part of their thinking and imagination process..

Boys most probably won't enjoy fairy tales like Cinderella or Snow White much, but they do enjoy other classics like Pinocchio. The same with current films, they might not like ALL Barbie, Strawberry Shortcake or My Little Ponies, but there are some ideas in those films that are not conveyed by boy films in general.

Some things that I notice from Ariq's questions make me sure that he needs to watch both types of movies.


These are some of his questions from watching Ben10:

"Mum, why Ben and Gwen are living with their grandpa instead of their own parents?"

"Mum, are Ben and Gwen friends or cousins? Why do they keep spilling ice cream on each others' head?"


These are some of his questions from watching Strawberry Shortcake:

"When we are camping, we don't need to be afraid, right Mum? Because the shadows are not ghosts.."

"Camping looks fun! Will I go on a camp one day?"


These are some of his questions from watching Barbie and The Three Musketeers:

"So, it's not only boys who can do moves like that, Mum?"

"Why wasn't she allowed to join the Musketeers? That's not fair!"


The ideas conveyed by each type of films are different and the objectives are different too..

I remember when I was younger, my sister and I used to watch boy films like Voltus-V, Kamen Rider, Power Rangers, etc. Watching those type of films gave us the motivation to be strong, and not afraid to face competition in life to become the best in what we liked to do.. also, we liked seeing the good-looking actors in the films (obviously..)

At the same time, we enjoyed watching the fairy tales too, because we liked how the princesses looked like, their dresses and their hairdo.. it all gave us the idea of how being beautiful, graceful and proper were supposed to be.

Yesterday I asked Ariq, "Do you tell your friends that you have the Barbie DVD at home?"

He answered, "The girls are excited, the boys are embarrassed, but I'm not worried! I like the movie."

Now, I can see that boys are just the same.. they can appreciate strength and beauty the same way at the same time if they are given the same chance to learn about both.. Moreover, I'm glad to see that Ariq is confident in doing what he likes despite his friends' opinions.. :-)

Learning to Save at Timezone

What??? Learning to save from Timezone?? Are you joking??? The only thing happens in gaming arcade is spending money, not saving!

Calm down, parents.. :-)

First of all, I didn't say "Let's save at Timezone".. because obviously it's impossible! I only said "Learning to Save at Timezone".. why?? Because it is the perfect place to teach our children the concept of saving in the logic that children understand.

Second, I'm not trying to teach you anything, I'm writing this post mainly to share my own experience with my sons, Ariq and Aza. So far, I don't have any 'problems' with Timezone.. In fact, I sort of enjoy the place myself too.. ;-)

Now let me explain more clearly..

When I came back from Yemen with Ariq, the reality for me was, I was 3-month pregnant, away from my husband and I didn't drive! So, when any one of Ariq's grandparents was available, I could take him to the zoo, the beach, etc., but when I took Ariq out by myself, the mall was the safest option for me (close to home, easy access to transportation, variety of choices of food and kids' entertainment).

Ariq was 3 years old at that time..

After our first trip to the mall (and Timezone), I started thinking.. If I could not control Ariq's spending in the gaming arcade, and soon he wouldn't be my only child, it would become hard to keep up with 'family entertainment cost'!

Then, I noticed something interesting when we went to the mall during school holiday, at Timezone's entrance there was a big banner saying "100% credit on purchase over Rp 60.000,00" (about US$7.00). I found an idea that I really hope Ariq could understand.

I slowly said to Ariq, "Honey, Timezone is having a discount because it's school holiday."

Ariq looked excited, "Wow! That's good then. Can I play?"

I nodded, "Of course! I also have an idea. If I buy a lot of credit today, you can play here a few times without having to buy anymore for a long time."

Ariq looked confused, "How? How can I play without buying credit?"

I thought, Yesss! This is my chance! And I said to him, "If you obey me when I say that your credit for today is up, we will have enough credit to come here again next time."

Ariq did not totally understand, but I didn't want to confuse him more, so I made a quick calculation in my mind (each machine costs around Rp 2.500,00 -about US$0.20), 10 games would cost around Rp 25.000,00 and said to him, "You can play 10 games each time we come here."

He quickly agreed. Well, he was still very young at that time and there were very limited choice of games that he could play, so 10 games were enough to entertain him.

I started the 'alarm' once he had played 7 games, so he started choosing the ones he really, really liked. Then, we stopped and I started exiting the arcade. I took a quick chance to show him the credit reading (at the credit checking machine) and explained to him the balance. By then, he understood what I tried to explain to him when we entered the arcade.

Was the process complete just like that?

Of course not!

Kids are not computer program.. They are so much smarter than any AI!

The next time we went to Timezone, he negotiated after the 10th game, so I had to put a limit on the negotiation (I usually gave 1 or 2 extra, but no more that that!). There was also a couple of times when he was being difficult because he was already getting tired and sleepy, but being a child he insisted on playing instead of going home.. So, I had to be consistent and I got him home and later on made him promise not to behave like that again.

Once Ariq was older (about 5 years old), he also started to understand the concept of game tickets (the tickets he earned for playing games on the machines). He exchanged them for drinks and snacks after he was finished playing and kept the rest until he could exchange them for something else; school stationery or toys.

Ariq is now almost 7 years old and Aza is 3.5 years old. I don't have to struggle teaching Aza the concept of saving when we go to Timezone, Ariq has been telling Aza when they have to leave the arcade because their credit for the day is up. And of course, since Ariq is speaking in 'children language', his explanation is much easier for Aza to understand.. ;-)

When my husband came home and we went to Timezone together, he was worried about how much we would spend there. He almost fainted when I told him how much credit I purchased because there was a discount.. I asked him to watch the children after their 10th game.. and he was very surprised!

Ariq calmly asked me, "Credit for today is up?"

I nodded and answered, "Yes. Get your brother, please."

Ariq nodded and turned to Aza, "Aza, today's credit is up! Let's go!" And Aza followed Ariq out of the arcade.

My husband asked me, "How did you do that?"

When I told him my experience with Ariq four years ago, he asked me, "Wow! They understand it!"

I smiled and said to him, "Don't underestimate children! They are people, humans, just in smaller body.."

One little tip for parents when going to Timezone.. Play with your kids on the machines! One or two, if not all..

When they see you play, and you say that it's enough entertainment for you, it sort of gives them an idea that the same amount of entertainment should be enough for them too, or at least a signal that the end of their playing time at the arcade is coming up very soon.. I find this more effective in teaching my children not the be addicted to gaming arcade (rather than giving a strict time limit while watching them play).

Some options for parents: street basketball, rowing, hit the mouse, deer hunting, table-hockey, soft-play area (with younger children, where available).

So many things around us these days, which can either help or harm us, and it all depends on us how to perceive it. I used to come to Timezone with Ariq and found myself as the only mother playing there, but lately, I saw more and more mothers play with their kids there. I see it as a good thing (as a stay-at-home mother, I find playing with my kids at a gaming arcade is one good alternative of refreshing activity when we don't have much time to plan a proper outdoor/other activities).

What you need is a little calculation of how much you would like to spend in the arcade and how often you plan on going there. Then, discuss the concept with your spouse and children.

Don't forget to watch out for discount banners or offers from your credit cards or other sources.

Timezone is there to provide family entertainment, not to add to family stress.. :-P

Mother and Son

A friend in Blogit, whose son is in the army, wrote a post that inspired me to write this post (thoughts which has been haunting my mind for a while..)

Ever since I have sons, the biggest difference that I have been feeling, compared to myself when I was their age, is their interest towards weapons... Ariq really loves arms (guns, cannon, etc.), while Aza loves swords.. I grew up as one of three girls in the family, and my parents panic (I mean, seriously worried with pale-white face) every time my sons are playing with their toy weapons.. As can be expected, my mother-in-law who has two sons, keeps saying, "It was sword and gun made of wood back in those days, now they are plastic.. but they are really just the same!"

Ariq has been changing the computer screen wallpaper every day with every nice-looking tank he can find on the internet and he always asks me questions about all the weapons he finds out about (which I usually don't have the answer for)..

He got me thinking when one day he asked me, "Mum, does a good guy handle a gun? Or are guns only for bad guys?"

I certainly didn't want to give him the wrong idea, so I took a while before answering. I could only pray that I gave him the right answer...

"No, not only bad guys. Good guys can handle guns too, only for the different reason.. Good guys will handle the guns to protect other people."

Then Ariq asked again, "Can good guys know about weapons better than the bad guys?"

I began thinking again before I answered. I wanted to find an easy way to explain to a young child, and the first thing came to my mind was Calleigh Duquesne (CSI Miami)..

I showed him a lab scene of the series and said to him, "Calleigh is a weapon speacialist. Her expertise has helped catch many bad guys."

Ariq's eyes lit up, "Wow! She's pretty and very smart and one of the good guys!"

Often I think about how I would feel if Ariq's interest doesn't fade but becomes stronger instead? What if one day he chooses to join the army or the police force to pursue what he considers the best for him and what he wants to do in life?

No mother would accept her son's decision easily, when it comes to life-risking profession, but when the decision is made based on strong passion and good intention, I always believe that it is what being a mother/a parent is really about; guiding their children to find what they want to do and who they want to be in life..

I think back to my grandfather (my mum's father). He was an army medic during the war (against Dutch and Japanese), and after we gained independence, he was posted in the Centre of Nuclear and Biochemical Research. I always feel proud looking at his photograph wearing his uniform and I still keep his last uniform on the top shelf of my cupboard to this day. I never forget either the proud feeling during his funeral at the military cemetary.

The thing that made me proud of him the most was how the way he expressed his feelings about his love for his country, loyalty to friends and his knowledge about performing medical treatments on the field. I could clearly see how passion about what we do and good intentions in life can make a difference, even in a toughest profession.

As much as I don't like the thought of war, weapons, and all those things, I do realise that someone (some people) have to do it (becoming members of the police force and armed forces), and I find peace in the thought that people who join those forces are people who love what they are doing because they believe they are doing a good thing for other people..

My friend's tears might become mine one day, but just like her, I will not stop my son from doing what he believes is right and the best for him as long as he does it with passion and good intention...

Me vs. Games Websites

I hope this is only a challenge and not a lesson that backfires at me!

Ariq, my 6-year-old son, loves computer and is very good at it (or he loves it because he is very good at it?). He finds getting around computer and the internet is a very interesting thing to do, so I have been using computer and the internet as an education tool to help him learn many things, rather than solely relying on information that I can give him.

Ever since Ariq started school, his days have been filled with questions about everything that he sees or thinks of every day; 'how does a rocket fly?', 'how many kind of snakes are there?', etc. I can always try to give him an answer in a simple way, but once he becomes intrigued to know more, I always suggest him to search for the information in Google.

Besides the 'serious knowledge', sometimes we also browse the internet for children stories or activities (drawings to be coloured, educative games, etc.). It is really amazing, the things that people share on the internet, which I'm really glad about!

Now, Ariq thinks of Google Search as the 'cleverer' and 'more knowledgeable' mother than me. When he wants to know something, he will search for it in Google, and he will mostly asks me when he doesn't understand the English (despite the fact he goes to a bilingual school, he is still in grade 1 and his primary language is Indonesian).

The challenge finally arrived last weekend, when we went to my husband's relative's home for a family function. As usual, during such function, my sons would be playing with second cousins, and that day, they were playing computer games.

In general, I don't have any problem with computer games. So far, Ariq has been fairly balanced in his gaming habit (without being told, he would leave his computer screen to play with his brother), he is also very cooperative whenever I remind him to do his reading for school.

Moreover, the games that the children were playing during the family function were only simple arcade games, which I was sure Ariq would enjoy playing for sometime but wouldn't be addicted to, because at home, he prefers to play Starcraft and Warcraft (offline). Sometimes he plays Warcraft online when his dad is home, but he doesn't feel confident enough yet to play online by himself (which my husband and I are glad about, for the time being).

My worries started at home, the night after the family function, when Ariq showed me the site of the games that he played with his second cousins. I just realised that the games were free online games! Ouch!

My husband's cousins might not be too worried about their children playing online, maybe because their children are not that much into computer and the internet like Ariq is. Maybe their children would stay on the site shown by their parents. Ariq on the other hand.. would definitely be intrigued to jump from one site to another just by following the links provided on the sites!

While waiting for one game to be loaded, Ariq said to me and his brother, "Look, this girl is really sexy! She is wearing almost nothing!"

I shouted in my head, "WHATTTT???!!!!" At the same time, however, I knew that getting angry or showing strong reaction would only make things worse, instead of making things better.. so, I pretended to stay calm..

"Guys, if the pictures are not good, just leave it!" I said to the boys.

"Ah, it's only the screen picture while waiting for the game to download, Mum," Ariq replied.

"Oh, OK.. then, just play something else while you are waiting.." I pretended to keep reading a book while talking to the boys.

"Oh, you're right! Why do I have to wait anyway?" Ariq said.

Then, I heard the sounds from Warcraft started again.. :-)

Later on, I explained to Ariq that sometimes free online games are connected by links to paid internet games and other games that are not meant for children. He might like those games if he ever came across them, but they were not suitable for his age, meaning those games would not add any knowledge to young children. Those games only filled children's brain with bad memories..

I guess, as a child, Ariq decided he didn't want bad memories, so.. he decided to choose to keep just a few games that he thought were good. I actually liked one of them (for him to play, I mean), which was 'Crush the Castle'. In that game, he had to build a castle and place the soldiers on each floor carefully so that when the castle was catapult, it wouldn't crash down.

I also asked my mother-in-law to 'take a glance' at the computer screen, every time Ariq is playing on the internet in her room, although so far, we felt that there was nothing to worry about. I told her my worries, and she could see my reasons.. :-)

Now, Ariq is back to his strategy games. He likes 'Age of Empires' when he is playing by himself. When he is playing with Aza, they would have lots of fun with 'Kid Pix Deluxe 1 and 4' where they can make all sorts of imaginative art works; photo frames, moving pictures, slide shows with fun backgrounds, dancing puppets, etc. (too bad I still haven't mastered the way to upload their masterpieces to the blogs)..

One thing I'm concerned about though, the fact that free online games on the internet are not well segregated, between the ones for younger players and adult players. Parental supervision are crucial in guiding children in using the internet for educational and entertainment purposes.

I hope in the future, website builders will be more thoughtful in managing their sites because obviously, our children need the internet for their entertainment, development and educational purposes more and more every day.. :-)

Endangered Languages

Following my last posting, Elinjo has forwarded to me a link to a video about languages of the world.

There are approximately 6,500 languages left in the world and one is disappearing every week (in average).. It is a very sad fact and a terrible loss for our culture (and our world).

For any of you who would like to know more, please follow this link, 'In Languages We Live'

I hope this video can be a wake-up call for all of us to start passing down any knowledge of culture and ethnic language that we have to our children and younger generations.

Every little step counts!

Hidden Worries

As my boys are growing bigger, I'm starting to see the chance of them seeking adventures in the future, which I'm sure will happen before I know it!

I never thought much about how my parents coped with my interest in outdoor activities (since neither of them was much of an outdoor person), but now as I think back, I know it must be something that was not totally easy to face as parents.

Since Ariq was 4, he started to be fascinated watching people doing wall climbing on a wall behind a shopping centre near where we lived. He kept asking me if he could go, but the guy there told him that he needed to be at least 5 to try it.

Ariq is quite tall for his age, so when he was 4.5 (and had been coming up to the wall climbing guy every time we went to the mall), the guy finally allowed him to give it a try. I wasn't too worried since I've done abseiling (rappelling) many times myself and I would be able to tell when the safety gear was properly attached to him or not. The wall climbing went well and Ariq was having a great time.

While Aza, since he was 2, every time we took him swimming, his favourite move was to stand on the edge of the pool and jump high into the water (he loves the 1.2m depth instead the shallow children pool) just to have the feeling of being under water.

I'm sure that all of you here, just as I do, believe that curiousity and interest will not stop there. There will be one day when they want to experience various things..

Being a girl, even though I had great interest in outdoor activities, I consider myself pretty tame. Bush-walking up the mountain, horseback riding, abseiling (rappelling) and camping were enough for my adrenaline.

Even so, I remember that to be sure of being able to go on trips, I used to make a note to ask my parents' permission at least 2 days before going. Not because they told me so, but I knew for a fact that my parents would need time to consult my uncle (my mother's younger brother who was truly an outdoor person) about my trip (which my uncle would interview me in detail).

Now, every time Ariq asks me to play with my equipment or walk into an outdoor shop at the mall and starts asking about the name and purposes of equipment there, I realise that outdoor is his interest too, and as a boy, he might want more than I did!

Now, I've started imagining how should I feel and react when one day, Ariq tells me that he is going caving, rock climbing or rafting.. and if Aza tells me that he is going diving, parachuting or sky diving???

Now I understand that letting me go on my trips to places unknown and unfamiliar to my parents, must be hard for them, but their trust has given me the chance to grow more than some other girls.. but, I wouldn't lie to myself, I have secrets from my parents; I fell off a cliff during a bush walk, which I was glad that a group of boys were behind my group and they pulled me up.

I never told my parents either that my reason going abseiling was to overcome my fear of heights, and I slammed onto the board on my first attempt, because I did not realise that my right hand was not able to work as a break (I'm a lefty abseiler).. that's how I found out that I could only use my right hand to do things that I have learned to do with it, otherwise, my strong hand is my left.

During those times, if things had gone terribly wrong, I could've been badly injured, to say the least.. My parents wouldn't be able to imagine the risks, since they never went on an outdoor advanture, but me? I know exactly what my sons would be doing and the risks they would be facing..

Despite my effort to start teaching them that risky activities need triple care and caution to ensure safety, I still wonder, will I ever be ready to let them go?

Very Short Children Stories

For non-English speaking parents, introducing children to English can be a tricky thing. Teaching proper English can be even more challenging.

Parents should always remember that the world these days is not the same with the one we were in ten to twenty years ago. Children these days are more observant and critical towards everything they witness and analyse everyday.

The first and most important step that every parent needs to do is just 'introducing' all kinds of knowledge and skills needed by children. The rest of the development and improvement will be happening much faster and better than we could ever anticipate. With the independent and active learning methods that are applied in schools these days, children have better self-confidence in searching for the knowledge and skills they need and applying those knowledge and skills once they have acquired them.

Therefore, there is no need to be afraid of making mistakes when teaching our children. Just keep the positive attitude to show that what we are doing is sharing and introducing them to parts of the world that we know to let them explore and develop in the ways that they need those worlds to be.

To start the introduction process to English, I have written three short stories (very short, in fact), to let parents have a feel of sharing their knowledge in English with their children. These stories can be found in my blog 'Orcalion's Story Land'.

I am waiting (hoping) for someone who can make these stories more interesting by adding some pictures/illustrations. However, if you would like to use the stories with your own creativity to share with your children, you are very welcome to do so (you are welcome to share it here too, if you like).

I hope your experience in introducing English and reading to your children is a enjoyable one.

Have a nice day :-)

Scary Saturday

We were staying at my parents’ for weekend, as we do on most weekends. My husband and our 6-year-old son, Ariq went to see Star Trek. We knew that he wouldn’t fully understand the movie, but he loved spaceships, lasers, and everything else that we would expect to see in a Star Trek movie ;-) .. so, there he went to the mall with his dad.

Around lunch time, my husband called. He told me that Ariq enjoyed the movie (the lightning-speed spaceship, phasers and the spaceships’ weapons), and they were having lunch.

Anyway.. My parents came home from lunch with my auntie and uncle as I was just about to make a cup of coffee when my mobile phone rang. It was about an hour from when my husband called. I looked at the number displayed on the screen and I was certain that I didn’t recognise it. However, something deep in my heart told me to pick it up. So I picked it up.

“Hello.” I greeted whoever was on the other side as I pressed the ‘talk’ button.

There was no reply, only distant buzzing noises, like in a busy place. It’s very possible the caller couldn’t hear my voice clearly, so I repeated myself.

“Hello.”

Still, there was no reply, but after a few seconds there was a distant voice, “Go on, talk.”

Then, I heard a soft growl. A very familiar voice, which made my heart stopped for a few seconds and I couldn’t feel my knees anymore. It was Ariq who made the soft growling sound, just like every time he refused to do something that I asked him to do.

I could sense panic rising in my heart. Why is Ariq using someone else’s phone? Where is my husband? Are they alright? Who was the man talking to Ariq on the background? My mind was already all over the place, but I knew I had to stay calm to be able to talk properly to Ariq.

“Ariq.. are you still at the mall? Whose phone are you using?”

“Mum.. I got separated from Dad. I can’t see him anywhere.”

Ouch! I knew exactly how the mall always was on Saturday night, my husband could just look away for a second, at the wrong time (as Ariq was interested in something else in, say, one metre away), they would easily be separated, and unable to find each other again..

“Alright, honey.. who are you with now? Whose phone are you using?”

“Mr. Security Guard, Mum. Would you quickly come, please?”

I hadn’t completely come back to earth, but at least I had started breathing.

“Is Mr. Security Guard with you?”

“Yes.”

“Can I please speak with him?”

“Yes.” Then I heard distant voices, “It’s my mum.”

“Hello, Ma’am.”

“Hello. Thank you for watching my son, Sir. Where can I find you?”

“It’s alright, Ma’am. We’re in front of the chemist on 1^st floor.”

“Alright. I’ll be there shortly.”

After I hang up, I called my husband’s mobile phone for so many times as I was getting changed, but the endless calling tone would only meant two things; he forgot to un-‘silent’ the phone or, he had lost the phone in the mall.

I kept thinking about what I should do, as I ran out of the house towards the row of bajajs (motorised rickshaw –exactly the same with the ones you find in India, where they originally came from before Indonesians started making them).

As I sat myself in one of the bajajs, I made up my mind. First, I decided to send a message to my parents.

Then, after weighing between the probability of the phone being in ‘silent’ mode or lost/stolen, I decided that it was more likely to be the earlier and I should leave a message to my husband about where Ariq was, so that he could get to him as soon as possible. I kept my message short and sound non-urgent. I only said, “Ariq is in front of the chemist on 1^st floor.”

I thought that even if the phone was lost or stolen and the thief read the message, he/she would only think that the owner of the phone was supposed to meet someone at the mall.

Finally, the bajaj I was on reached the mall, right after my mum called to tell me that my dad had gone after me by car and I sent him the same message I sent my husband. I got off the bajaj and quickly ran to the entrance door where a security guard was standing. I asked her the direction to the chemist, which turned out to be pretty much right across the escalator which I went on.

Right away I saw Ariq with a stressed face next to a security guard, who was talking on his mobile phone. I ran to Ariq as I was calling him. When he saw me, he ran to me and gave me a big hug.

Then I greeted the security guard who had been staying with him.

“Had you gone far when I called you, Ma’am?”

“No, Sir. My son was actually here with his father. I was at home.”

“Oh.. That’s what your son meant. He was panicked and stressed. He only said he couldn’t see his dad and he didn’t know where his mum was. I asked if he knew his dad’s number, he said he only remembered his mum’s.”

I thanked the security guard many times before we finally went downstairs to meet my dad. Then we tried to find my husband. Which we did short after and, his phone was still on ‘silent’ mode.

The rest of the afternoon, I kept asking my son (little bit each time) about how he lost his dad and ended up with the security guard.

“I walked too fast ahead of Dad (my husband was putting his belongings at the deposit counter -we are not allowed to bring bags into bookshops in Indonesia). I went around the bookshop many times, but I couldn’t see him.”

“Then, what did you do?”

“Then, I remembered Dad said he wanted to go to the toilet, so I went to look there, but there was noone there. So I went back to the bookshop, but he was still nowhere to find.”

“Was that when you decided to go to the security guard?”

“No. Someone took me to security guard. In fact, I was taken to THREE security guards.” Despite his fear, he felt proud of being attended by that many security guards.

“Was the person taking you also a security guard?”

“No.”

Then I teased him a little, “Did you cry?”

He grinned, “Yes, I cried. That’s why the man took me to the security guards.”

“What did the security guard asked you? Did they asked you name?”

“No they didn’t ask my name. He asked where Dad and you were. I said I was lost and I didn’t kow where you were. Then he asked if I wanted to call Dad or you. So I told him I didn’t remember Dad’s number, I only remembered yours. Then, he let me use his phone to call you.”

I also asked him, “Whenever you were going to places with me, and you couldn’t see me, you always shouted my name (He calls me ‘Ibu Indri’ – Ibu means Mum). Why didn’t you do the same with Dad when you realised for the first time you couldn’t see him?”

He want silent for a second, then answered with a cushion on his forehead, “I was embarrassed.”

I was a little surprised with his answer. I’m guessing it’s a guy thing, but I didn’t pursue further, as embarrassment for a 6-year-old wouldn’t be something easy to explain (I might have assumed wrong, but I think I can wait a while until he could figure out what he meant by that).

There are some things that I keep thinking about this incident..

I remembered how he was always calling me on my mobile phone, every time he was at home and he thought I had gone out too long, just because he knew my mobile phone numbers by heart. I used to think that his calls could be really annoying sometimes. Now, I’m glad he called me so often that those numbers stayed in his mind even in his most confused moments.

I also remembered that I often left unfamiliar incoming calls unanswered. Now, I’m glad that I decided to answer that one call that was made by my son using the security guard’s mobile phone.