Thursday, 17 December 2009

Mother and Son

A friend in Blogit, whose son is in the army, wrote a post that inspired me to write this post (thoughts which has been haunting my mind for a while..)

Ever since I have sons, the biggest difference that I have been feeling, compared to myself when I was their age, is their interest towards weapons... Ariq really loves arms (guns, cannon, etc.), while Aza loves swords.. I grew up as one of three girls in the family, and my parents panic (I mean, seriously worried with pale-white face) every time my sons are playing with their toy weapons.. As can be expected, my mother-in-law who has two sons, keeps saying, "It was sword and gun made of wood back in those days, now they are plastic.. but they are really just the same!"

Ariq has been changing the computer screen wallpaper every day with every nice-looking tank he can find on the internet and he always asks me questions about all the weapons he finds out about (which I usually don't have the answer for)..

He got me thinking when one day he asked me, "Mum, does a good guy handle a gun? Or are guns only for bad guys?"

I certainly didn't want to give him the wrong idea, so I took a while before answering. I could only pray that I gave him the right answer...

"No, not only bad guys. Good guys can handle guns too, only for the different reason.. Good guys will handle the guns to protect other people."

Then Ariq asked again, "Can good guys know about weapons better than the bad guys?"

I began thinking again before I answered. I wanted to find an easy way to explain to a young child, and the first thing came to my mind was Calleigh Duquesne (CSI Miami)..

I showed him a lab scene of the series and said to him, "Calleigh is a weapon speacialist. Her expertise has helped catch many bad guys."

Ariq's eyes lit up, "Wow! She's pretty and very smart and one of the good guys!"

Often I think about how I would feel if Ariq's interest doesn't fade but becomes stronger instead? What if one day he chooses to join the army or the police force to pursue what he considers the best for him and what he wants to do in life?

No mother would accept her son's decision easily, when it comes to life-risking profession, but when the decision is made based on strong passion and good intention, I always believe that it is what being a mother/a parent is really about; guiding their children to find what they want to do and who they want to be in life..

I think back to my grandfather (my mum's father). He was an army medic during the war (against Dutch and Japanese), and after we gained independence, he was posted in the Centre of Nuclear and Biochemical Research. I always feel proud looking at his photograph wearing his uniform and I still keep his last uniform on the top shelf of my cupboard to this day. I never forget either the proud feeling during his funeral at the military cemetary.

The thing that made me proud of him the most was how the way he expressed his feelings about his love for his country, loyalty to friends and his knowledge about performing medical treatments on the field. I could clearly see how passion about what we do and good intentions in life can make a difference, even in a toughest profession.

As much as I don't like the thought of war, weapons, and all those things, I do realise that someone (some people) have to do it (becoming members of the police force and armed forces), and I find peace in the thought that people who join those forces are people who love what they are doing because they believe they are doing a good thing for other people..

My friend's tears might become mine one day, but just like her, I will not stop my son from doing what he believes is right and the best for him as long as he does it with passion and good intention...

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