Thursday, 9 September 2010

Just tell me, Mum!

This story was the first time I realized that children were not to be underestimated.. They are as human as we are -adults-, and we learn from them as much as they learn from us. So, we should start listening to them..

I never try to pretend otherwise.. I'm just a regular woman, with all my emotional ways in handling things.. I tend to talk 'too much' when I find my children do something 'unacceptable' -trying to make sure they know that whatever they were doing was not good, and they shouldn't do it again-.

Repeating warnings and advices are never good, especially for children. I heard it often enough, said by experts of children education. However, trying to stop talking when I'm already 'ignited' is not easy.. It was like being torn into two.. Have the children understood of what is expected of them? Alternatively, are they just plain bored listening to me?
I just wanted to make sure that my children would NEVER do the same mistake again.. but I was proven wrong when one day, my 5-year-old talked back in a casual tone, during my steamy 'explaining' of his mistake..

"Mum, whenever you are talking fast and a lot, like this, I don't understand what you are saying. Can you just tell me what it is you want me to do, and I'll do it?"

All in a sudden I lost my words. I closed my mouth and looked at him. He repeated his words, "I mean it, Mum. I don't understand. All I hear is noisy sound coming from you. Just tell me what I have to do."

So many times I heard the advice to talk short and clear sentences to children. So many times I heard the advice to 'direct' children towards what they CAN do, rather than 'forbid' them to do what they CANNOT do. It was not easy to do.. until that time.. when I heard it from my son, in his 'language'..
I never thought that I would hear it coming from a little child.. my own son.. and he was only 5 years old at that time! I didn't have to guess, it must have taken all his courage to say it to me.. Suddenly, I felt something different in me.. a feeling of RESPECT to my son, for saying this difficult thing to me, which opened my mind..

So, I made up my mind to try new ways of communicating with my children..

Was I successful? Well, it didn't happen overnight, but I managed to 'cut myself out' whenever I saw a hint of boredom in my sons' faces during my 'speech.'

Lately, I still remind my sons, to stop whatever mischief they are doing, as soon as I tell them to stop. They can ask me why they can't do it after they have stopped doing it. If they don't stop right away, I might get angry and when it happens, it's hard for me to stop talking.. and they will be tired of listening..

Children will always be children.. and.. I will always be me.. but now, we are in a better understanding. I have learned to talk in shorter sentences to my children -most of the time-, and when I forget, they have learned that they are allowed to say to me, "You're making buzzing sound, Mum! Just tell me what I need to do!"


  1. salam kenal aja sob...heheheh ra mudeng bahasa inggris aku..

  2. @k.o.s

    Terima kasih untuk kunjungannya..

    Setelah anak-anak masuk sekolah lagi, nanti saya posting versi bahasa Indonesianya.. ;-)


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